Recalibration

August 2024

I am not entirely sure where to begin as my thoughts seem to gravitate towards disarray as of late. In sum, I believe it’s time to admit defeat. This is not regarding the project, of course, but about this blog. The irony of it is that this was never to be a part of the project. Knowing myself, I had planned these blog posts to be monthly.

During the honeymoon phase of this project (and most likely the honeymoon phase with the Leica MP240 had some part to play), I was forcing time to write daily posts. My focus was solely on this project and photography in general—at the expense of sleep and life outside of work. I was essentially completing same-day edits for both videos and photos, and writing a blog post to go with it.

There were two major road bumps, ones that I failed to predict. First was the amount of time I would need to invest both technically and artistically into the first zine of the series. I was still going out to take photos—it is nearly impossible at this point to stop—but I continued to fall behind in editing. The blog posts were the first to lag behind. The second bump was due to two summer courses I took as I am considering a career change in the future. They devoured pretty much every single second I had remaining in my day outside of work and familial duties. Everything to do with the project came to a halt.

Now, this is not a post about burnout or sustainability. It is simply a reflection and way for me to figure out how I would like to recalibrate.

I thought I would make an effort to catch up on the blog posts, but something feels off whenever I am revisiting old photos. The lack of immediacy leads to a disconnect. I believe the first few posts integrated “field notes,” thoughts I wrote down while I was out shooting. I cannot quite articulate it yet, but I prefer this approach. I would like to return to this. As I write this, I am also reminded that because my attention is partially in the past, I have also disconnected myself from the present. I am no longer taking notes during walks. In fact, I would say I am shooting more routinely now, documenting my life sporadically, rather than carving out pockets of time for pure photography. Not a bad thing, per se, but not necessarily what I wanted at the outset.

I find this intriguing because documenting is extremely important to me. Experiencing life organically is also a core belief of mine. My photography is functioning as such, so why would I not simply continue with this current approach?

This project is not meant to be a comfortable one. Even the basic premise of shooting with one camera for its entirety, as shallow as it is, is something that I find difficult to do in today’s incessant rapids of technological advancement. As much as I say I reject voracious consumption, I fall victim to it constantly. Leica M10 prices look incredible compared to the beginning of this year. I want to dabble in film. Nikon’s cameras are enticing. I really want a Ricoh GR. But discipline is something I want to cultivate more of in my life. Arbitrary rules is one way I would like to achieve that.

There is also mastery and humility. I would very much like to actually become proficient in photography and writing. This project forces me to wrestle with the reality that I have an incredible amount of improvement to achieve before I can proclaim that I am well-versed in either. Even thought. I feel that the quality of my thoughts have been degrading over time, with fluctuations month-to-month. For some reason, this project and its meaningless parameters forces these realizations upon me. This is something I find humbling and enjoyable.

In this spirit, I am admitting my first failure—I scope crept my own project and can no longer sustain it. I do not intend to “catch up” on the daily blog posts and will stick to the initial monthly plan. This will be the post for August. The photos that I did not post can mostly be found on my Instagram or in the first zine.

I will, however, try to catch up on editing my photos—luckily I have a span of days where I mistakenly shot in JPG, so that should help with that.

That’s it for today’s chicken scratch. If you have supported this project in any way, whether it be purchasing the digital copy of my first zine, or simply sharing words of encouragement, I truly appreciate it.

Have a great day,

Joon

Here are some shots from Day 44 though!