Day 5 - Family, the core

January 17, 2024

Today is my mom’s birthday.

I wrote about 2500 words on this topic in one sitting, but Safari crashed and Squarespace doesn’t autosave. Livid. I’m shocked that I didn't even save once.

TL;DR from what I can remember:

Nature vs. nurture is interesting in the context of identity. Reflecting on aspects of my identity that seem to be predictable based on my parents.
My parents have always maintained that I’m different and I used to reject that as I thought it was based in vanity/Korean culture.
Covered why I am now trying to accept the fact that I’m different and elaborated how I feel different.
Ranted about how “being different” also seems to have become a branding tactic and commodity. I find it to be a much more unpleasant experience.
Ranted about a ton of things related to societal norms.
Very angry, needed to take a break.
Love for what my parents have provided me emotionally.
Glad that Youjin is part of the family now.
Childhood, subconsciously need to be accepted in majority culture/groups.
How the past few years I have tried my best to adapt to the society I am in, and the result.
How duty will play a key part in moving forward and how I must learn to adapt or a new avenue that allows coexistence.
Future topics to explore: brother, family as an anchor (good/bad),